Reviews of Osama Bin Laden's Compound in Pakistan

Some are kind. Others, less so. A sampling:

Heat sources are undeniable. This place is blazing!

I can't see anything there' s 18 foot walls all around me and no windows facing anything good. This place is a dump, plus it smells like old laundry. I guess I feel pretty secure tho with the 18 foot walls, oh wait here comes 40 navy seals with sub-machine guns

Located in cozy, quiet neighborhood. Interrupted only occasionally by machine gun fire. Lacking in ameneties, but an up and coming area. Handyman special. One satellite phone available with smoking bullet hole for comms back home. CIA helicoptors offering complimentary air lift service for corpses. Great property to get away from it all. Must See!

I heard that this place is now available (prior residents left suddenly and unexpectedly).

Heard this used to be an amusement park, now it's a historical site? Aside from the complimentary dialysis machine use, easy underground access to Pakistan's beautiful vast cave system, and free toaster waffles, it's a pretty big dump. The food wasn't organic, the wifi was spotty at best, absolutely no cell coverage, (yelp reviews were so wrong on that one) and no one spoke English. To make it worse, the country's best basketball player, some 6'7" dude with a turban, gets shot our first night there. And the coffee was cold. We're so not coming back.

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